Any given Sunday

It's sunday again, another week gone. I'm sitting here, waiting for my life to start. How depressing is that? I am waiting for an opening, a window, a hole in a tree trunk that I can fall into...into my life. Like Alice in Wonderland, "life, what is it but a dream"...I want to wake up from the nightmare. When will it be MY time to again to do something. My pawns sit patiently on a board waiting to make their move...I'm collecting dust here.

Awake and barely Dreaming.

I haven't had the chance to thing about anything aside from the house needing to get cleaned lately. Two small children and two bickering adults leave messes the size of tornadoes in their wake. Who gets stuck with damage control, you ask? Yours truly. I don't mind but it's a little overwhelming because I don't like to live in clutter and mess.

I was on the computer until 4 am this morning and my best friend James called me at 1:30, waking me up this afternoon. I probably would have slept the day away... He's having pre-christmas issues with family. I hope that all goes well there. Luckily, I never had to deal with my in-laws when I had them, ;) they didn't even live in this country. My other boyfriends were too damaged to spend christmas with their families, if they had them.

I'm going to finish wrapping the presents that go under the tree for the kids today. The eldest, Katelyn, knows that Santa doesn't exist. Well, technically, me and her mother are realists about the issue and inform her that though Santa does not visit her house for Christmas, there was such a man who delivered presents and put them in shoes in other countries. I can see that she will probably end up very dull from lack of imagination as she gets older. Her brother Anthony, on the other hand, has an abundance of imagination. He says that he celebrates Christmas at his imaginary farm house with his children and wife, just like mommy and daddy do. He also says he has a monster truck there....hmm..I think it comes from his father's side o.0. He still believes in Santa, but has been very BAD this year and so every chance we get I tell him that I am going to tell Santa to take his presents back if he keeps on. He doesn't care. If I had a child, I would imagine it would turn out a lot like him. Maybe that's why I haven't had kids yet.

Oh, I found a webcam last night in the mounds of things that my sister has stored away to be sold or shoved deep into the shed that is overflowing mass of halloween decorations and such. Anyway, I was having fun with it and some of the pictures look alright, I mean, as good as they can be for someone so un-photogenic as I am. I will put some here. Well, I better go and find something creative to do.

You've got to be kidding me?!

I have the entire house to myself for a week. I feel like a shut in....oh, I am! 0.o It's funny, I have the t.v., the computer, and my novel....So much time, so little to do. Oh, scratch that, reverse it. lol.
I don't have a whole lot to speak on, seeing how I haven't done anything...I'm eagerly awaiting the ability to read the last two books by stephenie meyers....my friends have read them apparently, but I ran out of funds so I'm checking them out of the library. They're on hold. Typical. The funny thing was, I suppose the other clerk at the library is reading the books, or has already read them because she looked at my condescendingly and said, "Well, there's like ten people on that waiting list." Wow. So insightful. Who gives a damn. I don't know, I tend to look into things like that as if there was something she was supposed to mean by it, but I don't know quite what. Then I get all pissy. I left it alone though.
I am waiting on the paint markers to finish my pictures, so I haven't uploaded anything else to deviant art. It's sad really. For those that want to check it out, my name's artic-darkness. Yes, it's supposed to be ARCTIC...but I made it a LONG time ago. I was still failing English. I'm such a loser.

C'est La Vie...

Soon, I will escape here. I will leave this place and never come back. I mean by moving, not death..o.0 Anyways, I always move, it will be number 27 or 28...I'm not sure anymore. I'm going to the beach, I will look forward to it I suppose. I really miss home...I miss my normalcy. I guess that I should expect this, I am somewhat literally homeless.

I have gotten to my third spiral notebook in my novel which currently has no name yet, but will once I find something appropriate. My sister has already lectured me on the amount of paper that I have been wasting of hers and so I bought her laptop from her to finish. Unfortunately, I HAVE to write my rough draft on paper....my thoughts flow better on paper where I can visualize everything better. Too bad for her, I feel.

My art has gone nowhere...I haven't drawn a single thing, those damned art markers are much too expensive for me right now (especially since I just bought a laptop). Maybe I will invest in an art program to finish my pictures. They are getting better but I just haven't been in the mood to tinker with them, I have been feeling a little depressed....

The depression, I'm afraid, is from the holidays...another day without a purpose, another day away from anyone who cares....like every year. I will be bringing in the holidays by myself as my sister and family travels many states away to the "in-laws." It's typical. I do it every year but this time I have no pleasant distractions...how I miss those. I suppose they aren't a cure, but they sedate the pain briefly. Maybe I will be here...cursing the holidays. Now, that doesn't sound to bad. Hmmm...